Markus and Brian's Excellent European Adventure

Top 5 European Warning Signs

One big difference between Europe and North America, besides the access to naked women on TV any time of day, is that in North America, public warning signs are generally dull and actionless:

This sign warns you that you're in a school zone with briefcase-toting children crossing when you'll least suspect it, so you'd better slow your car down. But who's going to notice that snooze-fest? Nothing motivates you to pay attention.

In Europe, however, signs come to life with action. If a danger is being brought to your attention, you'll know it, because the sign will clearly show what'll happen if you ignore it. For example, the boring, easily-ignored North American school crossing sign above would look like this in Europe:

There's no ignoring that! Looking at the sign, you know there are serious consequences if you don't pay attention. In some eastern European countries, there'd probably be a follow-up sign of the little silhouetted car behind bars for life.

Anyway, I ran across quite a few of these types of signs in Europe, and thought I'd share my five favourite. Actually, they're the only five I got around to taking pictures of, but whatever.

My Top 5 Crazy European Warning Signs

5)

This was above a fire exit at a museum in France. This is an excellent sign; it makes it unmistakably clear that when fire is licking at your heels, or the building is in the process of exploding, this is the door to sprint through. Isn't that much more clear than this?

4)

I came across this at a train station in Ireland. Besides being overly huge and unnecessary (the ground was concrete), the falling man looks like he was in the middle of an ancient tribal dance when he slipped and fell on a passing wave. That, and his body is also completely straight and rigid with fear as he falls. I love it.

3)

My train was about to leave, so I got a little excited and accidently blocked part of the picture, with no time for a retake. Anyway, it left little doubt in my mind that if I opened the electrical box on the wall, I'd be zapped into a very painful looking posture.

2)

From a small southern German town. The sign reads, literally, "Attention! Children shoot hadoken fireballs!"

And now, for number one...

1)

Similar to number 5, this sign hung over the door that handicapped people should escape from when flames are licking at their, uh, wheels. I'm not sure what's moving the wheelchair, actually -- the guy isn't pushing anything. Maybe the flames are pushing him. Or maybe it's a flaming rocket wheelchair. That'd be cool.

That's it. In closing, watch out; Europe's a dangerous place.

Last of London

Yeah, yeah. I know.

Anyway, here's the last photos from London, from the end of our trip. Still many more photos to go. Next up: Ireland, France, and other areas I glossed over during the summer. I'll include more people photos, too; these are mostly just the "sights." (Give us a break, we were at the end of our trip! We stopped partying and being bad role models in mid-July.)

After I'm through these, I'll set up an album that puts all the pictures together in one place.

Pictures

1) Look! Rocks that don't move!
2) Markus poses with the rocks that don't move.
3) Another perspective on the action.
4) The lesser-known bank around the unmoving stones, built hundreds of years before the rest of the site was started. (It also doesn't move much.)
5) They're planning on building a traffic tunnel directly underground the site to alleviate traffic in the area. (Okay, last Stonehenge photo, I promise.)
6) Trafalgar Square; without reading the guidebook, neither Markus nor I had any idea why it was so popular. I think it's sustained entirely by tourists. And the pigeons. So many pigeons.
7) There's the column. There's a dude's statue on top. Talk about ego.
8) Speaking of excessiveness, here's the world's largest driveway, leading up to Buckingham Palace.
9) Approaching Westminster Abbey. There was a very graphic anti-war display on the road out front.
10) The Abbey. Like most places, we couldn't take photographs indoors. Very fascinating history inside, with tributes and coffins of many famous dead kings and queens, memorials to many artists, scientists, and poets, museum artifacts, and the chair used in crowning ceremonies for around a thousand years now. Much more interesting than some other historical stops on our trip because a) Canada has a close history with England that I've learned about in the past, and, more importantly, b) it was all in English.
11) I snuck a photo of the courtyard in the back; not terribly interesting, but it was something I could get away with. I'm such a badass.
12) Buckingham Palace. More like Boringham Palace.
13) A guard with a rather mean looking assault rifle stands guard.
14) Near the palace, leading into Green Park stands the Canada Gate. Several provinces have crests all over this sucker.
15) The gate in full view.
16) One of my favourite pictures. In the telecom section of the excellent Science Museum were exhibits covering the history of the telephone, including these instructions. "As soon as disengaged apparatus is associated with the calling line, a sound, known as the 'Dialling' tone, is heard in the receiver. This tone may be described as a continuous purring sound, and signifies that the apparatus is ready to function."
17) Ah, Harrods. The world's swankiest, most extravagant department store. Friendly but stern guards ensure you meet the dress code at the door. A heavy atmosphere of history and elegance. A massive array of rooms, each specializing in something you probably can't get elsewhere. Cigars, teas, pianos, horseback riding, Hello Kitty, HDTVs, postmodern furniture...each will have a room dedicated (and specially decorated) to the product. Even the elevator rooms are themed; the Egyptian one is peppered with statues and heiroglyphic motifs.
18) London Bridge.
19) My last photo of the trip: Piccadilly Circus. It's an intersection of five streets. While I sat near the fountain in the middle, I eavesdropped on some cops harrassing some homeless guys, who were harrassing the cops in return. Friendly people, those Brits.