brian's blog

What a week. It's been tough, a bit more challenging than I was expecting, but I hope I've been able to step up and perform. I say "I hope" because it's a difficult role in which to judge how well you're doing -- unlike other jobs, being a program manager has very few deliverables by which you can measure your performance, such as coding X, testing Y, designing user interface Z, or signing a business contract. Instead, I'm a gopher trying to coordinate a billion little things & act as a resource for many, all while trying to maintain a semblance of leadership over the project. And while it is often genuinely fun, this early on it's also somewhat overwhelming, especially since the constant question of "What do I do next?" rarely has a clear answer.

That said, this is the sort of challenge where, once you nail it and know you're performing, it makes you feel really, really good. That's the high I'm seeking here. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not there yet. And I can't wait to get there.