brian's blog

Spent the afternoon wandering through downtown Seattle, and it was fun:

• Visited the newly-built Seattle Public Library, an architectural paradox of acute angles, contrasting colors, and foam chairs. Click on the picture for my latest album of Seattle photos (yes, so soon!). I'll sort my albums more meaningfully soonish.
• Stopped by the Gap, where I was accosted by a Gap Corporate team of market testers from San Francisco who demanded that I fill out a survey and try on five different pairs of khakis for a complimentary $40 gift card. So I did. Let me simply say that Khaki #4 rises in my bathing suit area like nobody's business.
• Messed with some Scientologists who set up a "free stress test" table downtown. I pretended to be a confused, stressed out soul. They gave me two hollow aluminum cans which were hooked up to a cheap-looking device with a needle swinging back and forth. They told me to "think of something, anything" while holding the cans "not too firmly." The needle, of course, moved to indicate that I was stressed. Here's a dialog:
  
  Him: What were you thinking about?
  Me: My girlfriend...I guess she can stress me out.
  Him: What does she do to stress you out?
  Me: Well, she's always telling me what to wear. I feel like I have no control in my life. And it has to be blue.
  Him: But you're wearing a black jacket.
  Me: Well she's not around right now, is she?
  Him: Oh, um, right. What else?
  Me: Well...she doesn't like dark chocolate. I wish she did. I like dark chocolate, but it's hard to eat it when she's around.
  Him (obviously frustrated): Okay. Does anyone else frustrate you by trying to control you?
  Me: Yeah! My mom. She's always like "shovel the driveway" or "mow the lawn" or "get a damn job." I wish she'd just freakin' lay off.
  Him: Hmm, yeah, that can be frustrating, though some types of control might be useful... (He actually said this. He then pulled out a copy of the Scientologist's bible, Dianetics.) Here, read the back of this, and tell me what you think.
  Me: Ron Hubbard! I know that name...wait, didn't he make Battlefield Earth?
  Him: Well, ye-
  Me: That movie sucked! Hey, can you guys give me my movie ticket money back for that?
  Him: Um, no.